The last step in the process was the school re-visits. Initially we planned to attend re-visit day at three schools just to be sure we were making the right decision. After two it was clear which school was the right one, and we canceled our third re-visit.
The first visit was to the school in California which we have all loved since our first visit. This school invites accepted students for an overnight, beginning with dinner. Our daughter was nervous but excited. From the moment we arrived our daughter was addressed by name. It was an impressive effort by the admissions office. She was quickly swept into a group of freshman girls with the other visitors and barely gave us a backward glance. The parents were invited to the headmaster's house for cocktails and a visit. While many of the other families were from California, we also met people from Chicago, Nevada, and New Jersey. The headmaster gave a powerful talk about what teenagers need from school and from adults to grow into responsible adults and about his vision for the school. As his views align with ours, we were very comfortable with all we heard. His wife, also an academic, was so welcoming and gracious and assured us that she would keep an eye on our daughter. The next day while our daughter shadowed her hostess, the parents were invited to attend classes, served lunch in the dining hall and met with the Dean of Studies and the Dean of Students then went to watch sports. While we may have been swayed by the sun, orange groves, and hibiscus, we remained as impressed with the school as we had been on our first visit. Once we were all together again, our daughter was ready to commit. The physics class had been "the coolest class" she had ever attended. The other students were wonderful, and the extra-curricular activities all met her interests.
We did re-visit another school the following Monday. This was a 9 to 2:30 visit which started with a panel discussion by some current students and faculty. The focus was much more on the day to day life of the school. Then our daughter attended a couple of classes while the parents heard more about the academics. At lunch the headmaster, a most impressive and humorous man spoke to the parents, and we had a chance to visit one-on-one with teachers. We reconvened with our children for ice cream and meeting with the heads of various departments. While we were no longer seriously considering this school, the death knell was our daughter's report that students were playing video games during class and talking over the teachers. The second visit definitely gave us a clearer view of both schools.
It has been a fascinating process over the last nine months during which we have learned a lot about ourselves, our daughter and secondary schools. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to share our experience with you.
To maintain privacy and confidentiality, our author writes under the pen name "Boarding School Mom" and all family, child consultant, and school names will be changed or omitted. You can reach AQ's Boarding School Mom at [email protected].